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29 August 2006 @ 02:05 pm
Someone made a MySpace account for Alton, Illinois. Here is what is says:

Alton's Blurbs
About me:
Hello, my name is Alton, Illinois. I am located just about 25 miles north of downtown St. Louis, MO right on the Mississippi River. I have around 30,000 inhabitants, but my good friend Godfrey adds about 16,000 more people to my general poupation. I generally like inhabitants who have no money nor ambition and who would really like to stay in Alton for the rest of their lives. A visit to my uptown locations would have to include a stop at the gas station on the corner of Washington and College Avenue. Here, especially at night, you can take part in any number of criminal activities including, but not limiteed to: assault, assault & battery, bradishing a handgun, selling or doing drugs, robbery, and retail theft. A hop, skip, and jump away to Rock Springs Park and you can enjoy the Rock Springs Golf Course or people watch as old homosexual men meet in the park for casual sex with each other or cocaine deals. Along Broadway, the main thoroughfare through town, you can take in all of the sites of the closed businesses and factories that once held me together financially. A stop at Fast Eddie's is a must if you are hungry and are looking for cheap food and booze, as most of my inhabitants usually are. Every month in the summer my downtown area holds a block party with all of the bars open. Feel free to walk around and count how many people have mullets and also how many white girls are throwing up gang signs trying to fight each other over dirty white and black men. If you feel like getting a 40 oz. bottle broken over your head then don't come here because 40 ouncers have been outlawed in me ... well ... because too many people broke them over people's heads. In my Little Mexico neighborhood you can see the Weed and Seed program in its full effect. The only problem is that people in the nieghborhood tend to steal the aluminum sinks and siding out and off of the houses and sell them to recyclers for drug money. My school district is generally under the state requirements in all categories and in dire need of funding. The tallest man in the world was born in me as was James Earl Ray, the man who shot Martin Luther King Jr. My inhabitants tend to still wear Tommy Hilfiger jeans, shirts, hats, and socks that went out of style in 1997. Men and women from me are hardly ever attractive, and will more than likely try to sleep with you with the intentions of robbing you while you sleep. I have a mall with 6 stores left in it. Some say I am the most haunted town in America, but I think that people who say that are probably retarded. If either high school within my city limits is doing well in a sporting event, you can bet that the athletes will get caught with alcohol or drugs and blow any chances of anything positive happening to this town. If you're into drugs, doing dirt, Pontiac Grad Ams, Camaros, laziness, and not having a job then come visit me and you may stay for life!

Music Country and rap made in my basement studio.
Movies Deliverance, Menace II Society
Television I was once on the Today Show duing the Flood of '93.
Books I don't know how to read.
Heroes East St. Louis.

I'm terrible for posting this ...

But it's funny. :) And I still love Alton. There are good and nice things in Alton, I promise. And these are exaggerations, or at least, some of it is exaggerated.
 
 
24 July 2006 @ 12:20 am
I bought us a colander.
 
 
Current Music: crickets
 
 
16 June 2006 @ 02:02 pm
We have silverware for 8 plus various forms of serving spoons totaling to 45 pieces of silverware.